A Present to Myself
Not a philosophy book, just a compilation of thoughts, feelings, lessons and everything in-between that's helped shape me (and my art - which is just a byproduct of the culmination of everything I've had the privilege to have experienced & learnt over the course of my 20's).
This body of work originates as I aim to make sense of all my experiences and observations, whilst continuously remaining a student of this whole life thing we all seem to be struggling with something nowadays - I'm banking on this piece of work to be evidence of me being more present.
One day you're sitting outside a coffee shop in Forest Gate and you realise the experience can be seen in a cycle of some sorts.
Something would happen — a mistake, a risk, a conversation — and afterwards, I'd find a quote or story that aligned with the lesson of said quote. As I started to read and expose myself more to these quotes it started to work the other way. I'd read something first, sit with it for a while, and it would push me to actually go and do something I'd been circling for months.
Either direction, the pattern held: life first, or wisdom first, but never one without the other for long. This is acknowledgement of the dynamic between the two.
What this isn't
It isn't a memoir in the traditional sense — I'm not telling you the story of my life in order. And it isn't self-help, not really, because I'm not offering a method guaranteed to work for you. What it is, is closer to a scrapbook of my thoughts/ quotes that resonated with me. Each chapter is an important part of remaining equilibrium in the solar system that is your 'self'.
Getting it how I live it
Nothing in here is theory. This book is for me 1st, my children and grandchildren (if I'm ever blessed to have any) 2nd, and whoever else afterwards.
Each line has to be lived, then understood after the fact - understanding something once is not the same as living by said principle(s). It's here to constantly remind me to re-learn and reconsider these principles, not proof I've arrived anywhere, just constant evidence that I keep trying.
Another disclaimer, I'm not handing you answers — they wouldn't fit you anyway. I'm handing you a behind-the-scenes look at MY practices. Pay attention to what happens to you, go looking for the words that make sense of it, and don't mistake having read something for having lived it.
The chapters (not finalised) - The book moves through ten of them:
Intro / Prologue / Acknowledgements — where it starts, and who I owe it to
Working Through Hard Times / Perspective — on patience, on not resenting misfortune, on staying in your own driving seat
Nourishing Relationships / Community — on showing up, on who you let shape you, on being selflessly selfish
Risk & Adventure / Comfort Zone / Curiosity & Growth — on doing it scared, on the pain of assumption versus the pain of experience
Student of Life 1st & Teacher 2nd — a nod towards teaching and it being the highest form of giving, and on never losing your own beginner's mind
Authenticity / Alignment — understanding your own lane is the only place to be, and the peace that's only found in acceptance
Religion & Purpose — on faith as something read, studied, lived then deconstructed and reconstructed outside the bounds of culture
Gratitude & Appreciation — on slowing down, and paying attention to what you already have
Daily Habits, Routines & Accountability — probably a bunch of quotes from Atomic Habits
Conclusion / Final Thoughts — on balance, and on chasing what nourishes you without letting it consume you
A Present to Myself is a constantly evolving work in progress — chapters, quotes, and lessons collected as I live them to then underpin my life decisions as I grow with the book, but also my art. Some of what's in here has already found its way into other projects, mostly unknowingly, but after a few hundred hours of rumination at various places in the world, hopefully it's slightly more knowingly.
All photos are from a Hike from Valbone to Theth, an act that was part of a decision fueled by my eagerness to live by said principles.